I read something on FB about disappointments in a relationship, "No Expectations, No Disappointments". Normally when I am disappointed with T, I will tell myself, in a sore manner, not to expect anything from him again to avoid disappointments. However, after watching the movie on tv, 'Eat, Pray, Love', I realised that I was wrong all these while. Through the scene of an arguement between Julia Roberts and her partner, It finally dawned on me that it is not healthy for a relationship to have expectations. I am trying to minimise any expectations that I have from T....very difficult process.
Recently, there were quite a lot of quarrels between us. I am very sensitive towards his quick temper and stubbornness. I find myself getting disgusted with him whenever he flares up. To me, a man must be able to control his temper well so that the mind will be clear to make any judgement/decision. On a positive note, our quarrels do not last long.
I also noticed that we are not as close anymore. It is part and parcel of a marriage? I do not know. I wonder if he is stressed or too caught up in his work to spend quality time communicating with me. I even thought of a 'no tv and no ipad in room' rule when both of us are in the bedroom but I know that it is a stupid rule. I realised that he does not really appreciate the things I do or enforce for him to have a healthier life. I got very demoralised. However, I received an watsapp message from him this morning telling me about his work day. I was touched that he made the effort to communicate with me, he has always been making this effort to message me. He helps with the housework, ferries me wherever I want to go and volunteers to send me for a work task during the weekends.
I guess I got to stop being so over-sensitive and practice what I learnt from the movie, do not have expectations!
Next task for us! Try to have a baby...not just the 'if have then good' attitude! :p